Identifying Your Core Values and Beliefs

We'll be honest. How many of us paused in the middle of a flurry and wondered, "What am I even doing with my life?"
Perhaps you've been through a job or a relationship, an event that left you with a tingling sensation that we could not identify?

It is likely that what you experienced was an unbalance between your actions and your beliefs.
But here's something that the majority of people don't understand: if you're not clear on what your values are, the world starts to appear like a string of random choices as well as disappointments and distractions.

The process of identifying your core values isn't a flurry of motivational talk. It's the basis for everything: how you make decisions, the people you choose to surround yourself with and whether you finish every day feeling satisfied and content or even overwhelmed.

The core values are non-negotiables. These are the deep-seated beliefs that govern your actions, how you conduct yourself and interact with others.

They're the drivers that are silent behind your gut-based reactions.

If you're a fan of honesty, then lying no matter how little--will never be a problem for you.
If you value freedom, micromanagement drives you nuts.
If you are looking to grow and grow, settling in one spot for too long can feel suffocating.

Your values define your character, whether you're aware of them, or not.

This is what happens if you don't know what your values are:

• You'll often say "yes" to things you don't really care about.
  
  
• You are exhausted from relationships that are supposed to inspire you.
  
  
• You set out to achieve goals that look amazing on paper, but you feel empty inside.
  
  

The most difficult part? You start to doubt your own motives, wondering what's wrong with you even though "everything seems fine."

What if you knew your values?

• Making decisions becomes easier.
  
  
• Boundaries become more clear.
  
  
• Life is more deliberate.
  

It's similar to having a compass. You may not always know your exact location but you're aware of the best route for you.

This isn't a soul searching getaway in the Himalayan mountains (unless you're looking for that). It's all it takes is a bit of honest reflection as well as a bit of curiosity about your own self.

Here's how you can begin:

1. Reflect on Meaningful Moments

Think of instances when you were feeling:

• Fulfilled
  
  
• Alive
  
  
• Very content
  
  

What transpired during those times? Did you help someone? Making something? Leading? Learning?

The experiences you have had are clues. Consider:
"What value was being honored here?"

Example: If you feel extremely fulfilled in your role as a mentor Perhaps you are interested in guidance, contributions or even growth.

2. Reflect on What Bothers You Deeply

Sometimes, determining your values can be done by being aware of the things you're not a fan of.
What is it that really annoys you?

• People being fake? - You likely consider authenticity important.
  
  
• Are you being criticized during meetings? You probably consider respect or equality to be important.
  
  
• Are you feeling stuck? It could be because you appreciate progress or freedom.
  
  

The cause of your anger is typically your desire shouting, "This isn't me!"

3. Examine Your Role Models

Who are you most admired by and why?

It doesn't matter if it's a celebrity or a mentor, or even your own parents--record the traits you admire about them.

Do they have discipline? Compassion? Honesty? Boldness?

The traits you compare yourself to others are often your values that you want to live your life by.

4. Choose Your "Top Five"

There are many different values that are available. But you shouldn't require all of them.

Take a look at an inventory (or even better, make the own) and reduce it to five essential values that matter to you.

Here's a brief list of suggestions for ideas:

• Integrity
  
  
• Creativity
  
  
• Loyalty
  
  
• Growth
  
  
• Freedom
  
  
• Kindness
  
  
• Ambition
  
  
• Adventure
  
  
• Security
  
  
• Simplicity
  
  
• Justice
  

Choose the ones that make you feel as if they are "home." The ones you'd never want to be in a place without, even if everyone didn't applaud you for them.

Understanding your values is only half the equation. The moment you live them, the real change happens.

1. Make Aligned Decisions

If you are faced with a decision When faced with a dilemma, you should ask:
"Which option honors my values the most?"

Example: If you're a fan of freedom, perhaps an online job is better than the higher-paying office job.

2. Establish Boundaries and provide Clarity

If you are aware of the values you hold it's much simpler for you to accept "no" without guilt.

You're not trying to be difficult. You're safeguarding what is most important.

3. Use Values as a Check-in

Are you stuck or off track? Reconsider your priorities.
It is possible that you have drifted from the important things. Realign. Reground. Reset.

Let's face it: Life isn't just about having everything, it's about having the things that matter.

You can't know what is important until you know what you truly value in your life.

It's not something that happens once also. Your values evolve as you grow. What was important at 20 may not be important when you reach 35. It's ok. Actually, that's the main point.

Take some time this week. Reflect. Journal. Write it down. You can ask yourself:

"What truly matters to me--and am I living in alignment with that?"

Once you have your values outlined and clear, everything else begins to make much more sense.

Trust me when I say that life gets easier and decisions become clearer and what's your next step?
It begins to feel more similar to yours.